Success is Not the Only Goal
While I was growing up, we went through many stages. When I was a small child, we were quite poor . . . we even lived in a goat shed with dirt floors at two different points in my life. Later, my father started a computer company and gradually built it up into a thriving business that ended up becoming a multi-national, multi-million dollar company providing hospital software to hospitals around the world. It was amazing to see the difference between our life when I was 3 and just 10 years later.
But this is what I learned from my father´s success . . . getting to the top is not the end. In fact, it might not even be where you want to be!
My father´s business grew so huge that he was constantly jetting from one country to another. From the time I was about 8 until I was 14, we literally saw him 2 or 3 days a month and he was usually so jetlagged that he slept during that time. I watched my father burn out and still keep going (and I wonder why I`m such a workaholic).
Then one day, he came home and saw college catalogs on the table in the kitchen. I´d been looking at potential courses to take to motivate myself to finish school faster and it hit him . . . he´d missed our lives. His oldest daughter was thinking about college and leaving home and he hadn´t even been there when I´d transitioned from a little girl playing with Barbies to someone interested in studying for a degree. And he sold his business.
There were a number of things that happened after that, but the thing that struck me at the time and that has stayed with me since then is the fact that there is NO WAY to recover these few years that you get with your children. It´s part of the reason I work at home. It´s the MAIN reason I have no goals to build any of my businesses into massive dynasties, but prefer to keep them at a manageable size or outsource them.
Success is awesome. But it isn´t the only thing we should be considering and unfortunately, big success, even in a home based business, will require more and more time away from your kids.
Would you purposely choose to limit the success of your business to spend more time with your family, or would you prefer to become successful and work something out with your kids? I`d love to hear your thoughts on this.
What a touching story. Success is what you define it to be. Whether that means having a certain amount of money in the bank or being home with your kids and still being able to pay the electric bill. We all get to choose our own definition and work toward it. Thanks for the reminder that it’s not always about money, though!
Cindy, it´s as much a reminder to me as it is for my readers! I find myself getting caught up sometimes in the race to make more money, get more traffic and I have to sit back and realize that I`m right where I want to be, at home with my boys, in a house that we own, with food in the cupboard.
One of the main reasons I chose a homebased business is so that I wouldn’t miss those big and small moments of my children’s life. It has been a blessing to my family and I have always been able to be there when I wanted and needed to be!
This is a such a valuable story you shared.. The balance in life is so important. .
Yesterday I was watching a show on Brain in the public chanell i n TV and it was talking about how important it is to train ourselves to choose what we want to focus on removing all the clutter, all the distractions.
You chose a very important thing – to live each day to its fullest consciously, be with your kids, give them your best and this is what you’ll leave as a legacy. There is nothing more valuable than that- much more important than counting traffic in your web site.
This is a very valuable story you shared. You have experienced why balance in life is so important. Now you consciously chose your goal- to live each day to its fullest and be with your child. That’s the most valuable gift and legacy you can give. And it is far more important than counting traffic in your web site.
I was watching a PBS show in the TV on Brain. They were emphasizing how important it is to focus on your chosen thing, removing all the clutter and distractions around . It is not easy especially while you are dealing with the web- literally.
You have made me think all these and thanks for that.
With all the best – your new WAHM friend -
- Dita from http://www.bead-z-mommy-business.com
Genesis, that’s the best post I think I’ve read in a long time. I worked shift work when my daughter was a baby and gave it up when she was two because I’d missed so much. I sometimes regretted the loss of the income, but never really wished I’d kept working. Once gone, you can never get it back.
Sometimes success is not what the world calls success. For those of us who work at home success can be having a small business and being able to be there for our kids. The pay may not be enormous but the perks are amazing!
Thanks, Melinda! I´m so glad you were able to spend time with your daughter from a young age . . . it just goes by SO fast!
What a great story. Just came across your blog and so appreciate hearing from others who realize how fast children grow up.
I have six children, ages 5-21. We homeschool and own three companies that we run from home. Even with all that “extra” time, there isn’t enough of it with them before they are adults. My second just graduated from high school last week and is heading to college to join her older sister. Wonderful and sad all at once.
I don’t regret a minute I spent with them.
Great post! I can relate to it so much.
Ugh, I am a workaholic. I have only been working part-time though for the past couple months and it has been awesome. I love spending time with my daughter and before taking this semi-break I was so stressed and depressed that I could barely spend time with her. Sure, I was home but always glued to the computer screen! I feel blessed to be able to stay home and work but sometimes I wish it was easier to set a work schedule and stick with it. It’s so tempting to get work done when the computer is just sitting there.
I am hoping to cut down on work hours big time this year. I decided on an income goal after taxes that would allow me to save enough money while covering the bills I need to pay. This amount would allow me to meet my financial goals without losing time with my daughter! It is less than what I have been making so I just need to turn down some work and find that healthy balance.
It really is tough, Kathleen! I find it so tempting to just jump online first thing in the morning, since I always have a full inbox in the am. But these days I`m forcing myself to stay off until 8 am and just hang out with the kids.
It really is tough, Kathleen! I find it so tempting to just jump online first thing in the morning, since I always have a full inbox in the am. But these days I`m forcing myself to stay off until 8 am and just hang out with the kids.
Another option is to outsurce . . . you could just manage things.
Wow, your family must be tremendously busy with all those businesses AND homeschooling! Good for you.
Life is not always about money. We also need to spend quality time for our family. That is why I choose to work at the comfort of my own home as my kids will not always be kids.