Is Your Business Causing Relationship Problems?
Work at home moms who are married have an extra ball in the air to balance, their husbands. There are stages in every marriage where things seem to be a bit rougher, but one major stressor on a relationship is a home business. It can cause a rift that might seem irreparable, if you aren`t careful.
While there are several reasons a work at home mom might find her relationship with her husband going downhill, there are a few key issues that tend to be most common.
Money. For some men, it`s an issue if you earn more money than they do. I really don`t know of a good solution for this problem, but it would help to know about this beforehand. You might try including your husband in the business, as well, so he is helping bring in that extra money.
Time. By far the biggest problem is the sudden lack of time women have for their husbands when they are running their own business. We all get used to the fact that there is less time to spend as a couple when you have children, but even so, you have evenings and you can always get a babysitter. Not so with a home business.
Work at home moms tend to plan their business hours around their children, which means those hours that used to be for you and your man are now taken up with work. Who wouldn`t resent that? Even if your husband is fully supportive of your business, that doesn`t mean he wants to be ignored.
To remedy this problem, it`s helpful to schedule in couple time. Make sure you have date nights where you actually leave the house, at least once a month. But don`t forget to spend time together in the evenings, take time to talk, watch a sitcom together or just hang out together. These little times together will let him know that you still value him enough to make him a priority.
Success. In some cases, you might find that your husband is jealous of your success, particularly if he has wanted to start his own business and hasn`t yet been able to or hasn`t reached the degree of success that you have.
To make sure that this doesn`t become a problem, let him know that you couldn`t have done it without him. After all, without the support, the help with child care, the late night encouragement when you feel ready to throw in the towel, and the financial backing, it really would be a very hard row to hoe! Don`t forget to thank him and make sure your husband feels appreciated.
What challenges have you faced in your marriage in regards to being a work at home mom? Any advice for overcoming these issues?
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I’ve also noticed that my husband gets just a little on edge when I out earn him, even as he admits that consciously he’s proud that I can do that. But there’s that little bit that tells him he is supposed to be the breadwinner that nags at him.
He knows my goal is to bring things to where he can work at home too, either helping me or on his own choice of projects. With the cost of insurance and a son who will be seeing specialists a couple times a year until he’s about 5, that’s likely to be high if not through an employer.
We’re very fortunate in that his parents are retired, local and very relieved to be grandparents. As both my husband and his sister married later in life than average (mid 30s for him, late 30s for sister), they were much afraid they’d never see their grandchildren. As such, they take the kids one night a week almost every week. In terms of time available for us to be together, we’re SPOILED!
Not that we always go out or anything.
We also have the computers side by side. It would be easier for me to work if he were on the other side of the room, but it does encourage conversation during the evenings and nights while I work and he goofs off online.
Wow, Stephanie, that`s great that you have someone to help watch your son. I think it must be very difficult for men to realize that they are jealous, even just a little bit, and even though they are grateful for your success.
My husband and I tend to chat a lot at night, but we have computers on opposite sides of the room and we use IM. It sounds kind of silly, but it works!
Yes.. I have to say that because of my biz i am not able to give more time to my love. thanks for this info.