How to Say No
Work at home moms have a terrible tendency to say yes to everything. It’s hard to say no and we often feel that people will be upset with us if we turn them down. However, learning to say no is one of the most important skills you will ever learn for your business.
There are various areas where this skill is necessary, so let’s take a look at a couple that work at home moms tend to face.
Personal Requests
Scenarios:
- Your daughter’s school calls to ask if you can chaperone a field trip, casually mentioning that you are the only parent that is available that day. You have work due that day, however.
- Your friend calls you up and asks if you can get your kids together for a playdate this afternoon, after all, you haven’t met up in nearly a month now.
Neither of these is an easy situation because you have the added guilt (and let’s face it, moms are suckers for guilt!) of knowing that you SHOULD say yes.
How can you deflect these requests without feeling worse? Obviously a straight up “no” isn’t going to cut it!
You can reschedule some things, like the playdate. Say “Oh, I’d love to get together, but I’ve got several assignments due today. Could we make it Friday?” Offer a specific date, rather than a “let’s schedule later”. This helps the other person feel like they aren’t being blown off . . . and gives you a chance to choose a day that works better for your work schedule.
For other, more specific things like school meetings and field trips, you might have to be more inventive. You do need to stand firm, but if you feel guilty about not attending, suggest that they give you more notice for the next field trip and you will happily schedule your work around it.
Work
Scenarios:
- Your long term client asks you to take on a large assignment that he needs in a week, but you have other clients ahead of him and most of them are higher paying.
- A referred client (aka, more guilt!) comes to you and has a project that they need done ASAP . . . but you have other work that is due shortly.
It is extremely difficult to turn down work, trust me, I know. However, there comes a point when you have to either say no or end up turning in shoddy work that will lose you the job anyway and ruin your reputation. Most work at home moms that freelance are worried about losing clients if they say no, but that doesn’t have to be the case.
I recently read some great posts on this topic. Over at Freelance Writing Jobs, the post How to Say No to Clients the Right Way, offers some very sage advice on retaining clients while turning them down. Men with Pens also offers some excellent insight as to why we are afraid to turn down work and how to nicely say no to a client. While both these posts are definite must-reads for anyone struggling with this issue, here are a few tips:
Let the client know you are busy at the moment, but give them a date that you could start work on their project. They might decide to go elsewhere, but will know to schedule ahead of time for the next go round.
Suggest a fellow work at home mom or other business that you respect and trust. You might lose the client to the new business, but at least you did it with dignity and they will remember that.
For cases where the client wants a rush job and you don’t have time, let them know that you charge a rush fee and then set it at a price that you would be willing to deal with the hassle for.
Consider outsourcing. I get some of my freelance writing work from other writers who have simply ended up overbooked. Having someone you can trust to get your back is a major benefit and will let you take on those extra jobs without destroying your life.
How do you say no? Is this something you struggle with? I’d love to hear some feedback as this is an area that I am still working on myself. 
I have never been able to say no to anyone that asks me for help, whether I have the time to do the work or not. Usually what happens is, I take the work or I run the errand, and then I b*tch about it to my fiance and anyone else who will listen (but never to the person who needed the help, of course).
I used to feel like a ping pong ball juggling work and homelife… it makes it harder when your home is your workplace and your workplace is your home but just like you mentioned i decided to get some help with some of my projects through outsourcing. In the beginning i felt even more stressed because it took a while to find someone good and reliable plus i had to train them up but it has definately been worth it in the long run… It has taken alot of weight off my shoulders which has allowed me to feel more calm and centered and now i can focus my attention on areas of the business that really needs me.
I so hear you on that! I tend to do the same thing, but I’m working hard to start turning people down.
This is especially true when you have kids in school. They think just because you are at home that you can drop everything and help out at all the class parties or the PTO. I usually say yes to one thing and my husband reminds me that I still need to work on my business at home but saying no to teachers and playdates are so hard. I am quickling learning though that if I do those things it takes away from the freedom I may have down the road by building my online business. Thanks for the tips.
So true, Heather! It’s good your husband is behind you on this.